COVID 19; Reflections on Living Alone

Due to self isolating and college classes moving online, I find that I spend most of my day inside the walls of my home. This isn’t too much of a loss for me, I have a wonderful mom and a very entertaining little brother living here with me, so life has remained eventful.

But every now-and-then, something comes up that takes the rest of my small family away from the home and I am left alone. Most of the time this is refreshing; at least, when it only lasts for a little while. I quickly tire of the solitude, however, when my family goes on an outing that occupies the better part of a day. While I would usually spend these hours in the company of friends or at the gym, social distancing makes some of these activities impossible, and I find it much harder to facilitate “hanging out” with friends via zoom or the telephone than I do in person. Considering I often get bored after only a few hours of isolation, I can’t imagine life if I were the only one in my home for days, weeks, or months.

I came upon a statistic this week that shocked me. While studying changing family trends in my Family Relations class, I read that, in 2009, 31.7 million Americans -- one tenth of the U.S. population at the time -- were living alone. I had never heard anything about our increasing rates of solo-living before, so I did a little research. I found recent figures are similar to those in 2009, with 36.5 million (11.1%) of United States citizens living alone. In Canada, the 2016 census found one-person households to be the most common household type and that a mind-numbing 14% of the population fifteen years old or older are living by themselves, as opposed to 9% in 1981.

While this isn’t divorce, teenage sex, single parenting, child abuse or one of the many other hot topics in the family science field, this realization really touched me and has caused me some serious reflection. After all, as I was just stating, I have trouble with only a few hours of living alone. While I’m sure that there are people who thrive in such a condition, we humans are social creatures, and all of us need some form of social interaction to get by, and I can’t help but wonder how those in single-person homes are getting by during social isolation.

Although I have never lived by myself, my single father did. When he was living alone, my dad often struggled with motivation, finding it difficult to get out of bed, to keep his home tidy, or to maintain a daily routine. When I came to visit, however, I saw a complete reversal of these tendencies; he was eager to get up and face the day, managing chores was easier, as was accomplishing objectives he might have put off for weeks. While there were definitely other contributing factors, such as his desire to perform in a parental role for his son, I have come to believe that my dad had a real need for at-home human interaction.

I believe most of us have a similar need. Except for those rare individuals who are remarkably self-motivated, we all reap benefits from living in a community setting where the schedules of others provide some structure to our own experience and allow us regular social interaction. Many of us find it far preferable to live with roommates who we like or just barely get along with than to board alone or with people who ignore us; this because in-home supports fill some needs that are difficult to supplement with any other form of social activity. Living with someone delivers consistent social interaction, reliably there without our having to work for it. It grants structure and the security of knowing that if something goes wrong, we’re not alone. Many of these ideals are hard to attain with a friend who lives on the other side of town.

So, after reflecting on the impact of social isolation for those living alone during the pandemic, what changes can I make in my lifestyle? Well, I’ve realized I want to stop griping about social distancing regulations put in place due to COVID-19. While it's been an inconvenience for me, I'm privileged to have my social supports in just the next two bedrooms over, in the form of a mother and sibling who I adore. I also am motivated to make use of technology and reach out to my other supports. They, like me, might be lonely, but they might not have the level of support I'm given and it could mean a world of difference to them. Lastly, the awareness that so many people live alone motivates me to reach out more to those who might be lonely, both now and after the pandemic is over. No one ought to be alone, but too many of us spend the bulk of our lives this way. Wherever possible, I want to make it so that those around me don't have to bear this burden alone, if they don't want to.


(Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash)

Works Cited:
Lauer, R. H., & Lauer, J. C. (2011). Marriage and Family: the Quest for Intimacy. New York: McGraw-Hill Higher Education

Duffin, E. (2019, November 22). Single-person households United States 2019. Retrieved May 2, 2020, from https://www.statista.com/statistics/242022/number-of-single-person-households-in-the-us/

Galbraith, N., Truong, J., & Tang, J. (2019, March 6). Living Alone in Canada. Retrieved May 2, 2020, from https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/75-006-x/2019001/article/00003-eng.htm#a14